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Festivus for the Restivus!

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

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You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
Jerry Seinfeld
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
Jerry Seinfeld
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[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.
Jerry Seinfeld
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
Jerry Seinfeld
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On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'
Jerry Seinfeld
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I love advertising because I love lying.
Jerry Seinfeld
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The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
Jerry Seinfeld
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
Jerry Seinfeld
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I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
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A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.
Jerry Seinfeld
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The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There's nothing above that. Nothing above it.
Jerry Seinfeld
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I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
Jerry Seinfeld
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
Jerry Seinfeld