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Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Jobs
Interviews
Night
Naked
Ends
Difference
Many
Differences
Face
Chance
Interview
Lasts
Date
Faces
Dating
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I love advertising because I love lying.
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You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
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I love meeting Israeli people. They look at me like a son
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Cremation has become the most popular form of burial in the United States... People used to want a big, thick granite stone, their names carved into with a chisel. I was here dammit! Cremation is like you're trying to cover up a crime. Burn the body. Scatter the ashes around. As far as anyone's concerned this whole thing never happened.
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
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Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
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Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
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I love the day date. No wine, no shower.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
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The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
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I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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