Quote

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Music
Guess
Showers
Better
Dance
Glass
Really
Gave
Humorous
Doors
Glasses
Somebody
Thanks
Funny
Surface
Next
Radio
Slick
Place
Door
Shower

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

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Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
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If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?
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Dogs want to be people. That's what their lives are about. They don't like being a dog. They're with people all the time, they want to graduate. My dog would sit there all day, he would watch me walk by, he would think to himself, I could do that! He's not that good.
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The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
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The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.
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Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people.
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
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To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box.
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
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Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
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I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
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