Quote

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

Jerry Seinfeld

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Funny
Surface
Next
Radio
Slick
Place
Door
Shower
Music
Guess
Showers
Better
Dance
Glass
Really
Gave
Humorous
Doors
Glasses
Somebody
Thanks

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Image
Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I love being a dad. I just love it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I am speechless: I have no speech
Jerry Seinfeld