Quote

I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Magazines
Wrote
Asked
Article
Proud
Automobile
Knew
Editor
Write
Magazine
Anything
Articles
Writing
Editors

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The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
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Festivus for the Restivus!
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No encounter, mouth open up ... that is how the drug businesses see the general public.
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Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.
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You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
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The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
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I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?
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Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
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Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.
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I'll tell you one of the great activities is skateboarding. To learn to do a skateboard trick, how many times do you gotta get something wrong til you get it right? ...And you hurt yourself, and you learn to do that trick, now you got a life lesson. Every time I see those skateboard kids, I think 'those kids'll be alright.'
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The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
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