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The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Always
Comedian
Personality
Didn
Truth
Wanted
Thing
Kind
Really
Terrifying
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
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A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
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You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. There's a quarter....
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You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day
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I love advertising because I love lying.
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
Jerry Seinfeld
But I don't want to be a pirate!
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive. Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
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Every day when everybody would have lunch I would do TM [Transcendental Meditation] and then I would eat while I was working because I had missed lunch but that is how I survived the 9 years [of Seinfeld], it was that 20 minutes in the middle of the day would save me.
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I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
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Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld
Having done quite a bit with studios and networks, I thought if I'm going to do something new and unformed, it would be fun to do it in a completely new space and place. The space being the Internet and the place being Crackle.
Jerry Seinfeld
What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
Jerry Seinfeld
And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
Jerry Seinfeld
We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
Jerry Seinfeld
