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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Fall
Back
Love
Life
Cereal
Boxes
Pay
Attention
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
I'm old, I'm rich and I'm tired.
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There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
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Of course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really sure how to do it.
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Economy is essential to all good art.
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I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
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If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.
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Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
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You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. 'Cause they see change on the street all the time and it's driving them crazy. When you're walking them, he is always looking up at you. There's a quarter....
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I think vacations are mostly completely stupid. Going to have coffee with a friend, you're probably going to have more fun than if you go to Aruba.
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We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
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Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
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The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
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Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
Jerry Seinfeld
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
Jerry Seinfeld
