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Pay attention don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Fall
Back
Love
Life
Cereal
Boxes
Pay
Attention
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
Jerry Seinfeld
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs? Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
Jerry Seinfeld
Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
Jerry Seinfeld
I am speechless: I have no speech
Jerry Seinfeld
The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
Jerry Seinfeld
I love the day date. No wine, no shower.
Jerry Seinfeld
Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
Jerry Seinfeld
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people.
Jerry Seinfeld
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
Jerry Seinfeld
People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
Jerry Seinfeld
That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes they'll make little Play-Doh animals, and when they go to sleep, I'll break the heads off the animals and put them at the foot of their beds for them to discover in the morning. Nothing wrong with sending your kids a little Sicilian message.
Jerry Seinfeld
After you get a job and before you have to do it. Nothing beats that.
Jerry Seinfeld
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
Jerry Seinfeld
Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
Jerry Seinfeld
The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
Jerry Seinfeld
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
Jerry Seinfeld
Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?
Jerry Seinfeld
I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
