Quote

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'

Jerry Seinfeld

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Littles
Humor
Little
Comedy
Men
Somebody
Think
Show
Thinking
Funny
Learn
Magazines
Shows
Naked
Women
Advice

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Image
Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I'll tell you what I like about Chinese people: they're hanging in there with the chop sticks, aren't they? You know they've seen the fork. They're staying with the sticks.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I love being a dad. I just love it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Everybody in New York City knows there's way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: What is this? What did you say? What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy? Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
Jerry Seinfeld
Image
The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
Jerry Seinfeld