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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Comedy
Strangers
Four
Stranger
Talk
Laughter
Friends
Laugh
Much
Paid
Make
Laughing
Like
Levels
People
Fun
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
Jerry Seinfeld
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
Jerry Seinfeld
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
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Every day when everybody would have lunch I would do TM [Transcendental Meditation] and then I would eat while I was working because I had missed lunch but that is how I survived the 9 years [of Seinfeld], it was that 20 minutes in the middle of the day would save me.
Jerry Seinfeld
Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?
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Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
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Having done quite a bit with studios and networks, I thought if I'm going to do something new and unformed, it would be fun to do it in a completely new space and place. The space being the Internet and the place being Crackle.
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Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
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We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.
Jerry Seinfeld
A chef who doesn't wash his hands is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help.
Jerry Seinfeld
If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?
Jerry Seinfeld
We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape, we didn't get a good night's sleep, we're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.
Jerry Seinfeld
On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'
Jerry Seinfeld
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld
The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
Jerry Seinfeld
I am speechless: I have no speech
Jerry Seinfeld
