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Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Made
Laughing
Boards
Make
Pieces
Outcomes
Love
Move
Chess
Like
Relationship
Smoke
Game
Effect
Games
Except
Flowing
Water
Effects
Outcome
Moving
Marriage
Board
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Economy is essential to all good art.
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If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?
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I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings
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The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.
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Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.
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Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Quit it.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
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Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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But I don't want to be a pirate!
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I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.
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Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
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Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
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I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
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It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.
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If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
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Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!
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