Quote

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Made
Laughing
Boards
Make
Pieces
Outcomes
Love
Move
Chess
Like
Relationship
Smoke
Game
Effect
Games
Except
Flowing
Water
Effects
Outcome
Moving
Marriage
Board

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When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.
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Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.
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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.
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If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
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Sometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face and they know what you mean, so you can get away with certain things. But if you can't create that look on an animated character, which is essentially a puppet, the line will hit the audience in a very bad way.
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What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
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And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
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Festivus for the Restivus!
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
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I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
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