Quote

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Water
Effects
Outcome
Moving
Marriage
Board
Made
Laughing
Boards
Make
Pieces
Outcomes
Love
Move
Chess
Like
Relationship
Smoke
Game
Effect
Games
Except
Flowing

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I love the day date. No wine, no shower.
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That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
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Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.
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Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
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Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs? Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
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I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
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People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.
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Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff.
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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
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