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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Color
Lipstick
Comedy
Makeup
Word
Final
Funny
Finals
Ends
Lips
Important
Accept
Thing
Concerned
Accepting
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.
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Men want to make women happy.
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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
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Maybe if we lie down our brains will work.
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Economy is essential to all good art.
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Artists are always looking for new things and fresh ground and fresh air. If it feels new to me, there's a chance it'll feel new to the audience and we'll have found something.
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That's the most comfortable place for me. In the beginning, yes, I was nervous going on stage. I was not a natural performer. I really had to acquire that skill.
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
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Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.
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If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
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When you interrupt, you've stopped listening. People need to be heard.
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What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
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I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.
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The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.
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I love being a dad. I just love it.
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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