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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.
Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Important
Accept
Thing
Concerned
Accepting
Color
Lipstick
Comedy
Makeup
Word
Final
Funny
Finals
Ends
Lips
More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything.
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I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.
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If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years.
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We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when the red light goes on.
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Everything is in how you are going to handle it. As a lifelong nightclub comic, I'm ready to handle whatever I have to handle.
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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?
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Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?
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Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.
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If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, pretending to fight?
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My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
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It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!
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A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.
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Why does McDonald's have to count every burger that they sell? What is their ultimate goal? Do they want cows to surrender voluntarily?
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
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Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
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I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you'll hit it.
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The best piece of advice I received before I got married was, Be careful what you say when you're in a fight, because it could stick in someone's head. I don't think I've ever said anything I really regretted. I'm very sympathetic to women. I've really studied wife-ology, and I know you've got to figure out the feelings. Deal with the feelings
Jerry Seinfeld
Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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On the side of box of my superman costume it actually said - 'Do not attempt to fly!'
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