Quote

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld
Age: 70
Born: 1954
Born: April 29
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Humorist
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
Jerome Allen Seinfeld
Cable Boy
Mr. Steinfeld
Jerome Allen Jerry Seinfeld
Birthday
Blow
Getting
Like
Candle
Cake

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Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.
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Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.
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The human body is like a condominium. The thing that keeps you from really enjoying it is the maintenance.
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I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
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Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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Sometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face and they know what you mean, so you can get away with certain things. But if you can't create that look on an animated character, which is essentially a puppet, the line will hit the audience in a very bad way.
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Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light' but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
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Writer's block is a phony, made up, BS excuse for not doing your work.
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I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
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Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.
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I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going,Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
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There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'
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People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later it's a relic.
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