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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Vain
Everybody
Possible
Women
Men
Terribly
Vanity

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We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.
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Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink for thirst is a dangerous thing.
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It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch one another and find sympathy. We differ widely enough in our nobler qualities. It is in our follies that we are at one.
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It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
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It is no more effort for a man to be a saint than to be a sinner it becomes a mere matter of habit.
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Evil thought is a dangerous pet. It is safer to play with it from behind the iron bars of circumstance.
Jerome K. Jerome
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I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
Jerome K. Jerome
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A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their way, but we, poor mortals, in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company.
Jerome K. Jerome
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It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.
Jerome K. Jerome
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Think of the man who first tried German sausage.
Jerome K. Jerome
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I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish.
Jerome K. Jerome
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There are many families where the whole interest of life is centered upon the dog.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Seek out some retired and old-world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint-perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far-off and faint.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Being poor is a mere trifle. It is being known to be poor that is the sting.
Jerome K. Jerome
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There may be a better land where bicycle saddles are made of rainbow, stuffed with cloud in this world the simplest thing is to get used to something hard.
Jerome K. Jerome
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There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one.
Jerome K. Jerome
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I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.
Jerome K. Jerome