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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Terribly
Vanity
Vain
Everybody
Possible
Women
Men

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Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago,“ has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.
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Love is woman's business,and in business we all lay aside our natural weaknesses.
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The odour of Burgundy, and the smell of French sauces, and the sight of clean napkins and long loaves, knocked as a very welcome visitor at the door of our inner man.
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Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.
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I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.
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Seek out some retired and old-world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint-perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far-off and faint.
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I like cats.... When I meet a cat, I say, Poor Pussy! and stoop down and tickle the side of its head and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers and all is gentleness and peace.
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There may be a better land where bicycle saddles are made of rainbow, stuffed with cloud in this world the simplest thing is to get used to something hard.
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A new life begins for us with every second. Let us go forward joyously to meet it. We must press on, whether we will or not, and we shall walk better with our eyes before us than with them ever cast behind.
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Love is like the measles we all have to go through it.
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Love is too pure a light to burn long among the noisome gases that we breathe, but before it is choked out we may use it as a torch to ignite the cozy fire of affection.
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Cassivelaunus had prepared the river for Caesar, by planting it full of stakes (and had, no doubt, put up a notice-board).
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Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
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It is no more effort for a man to be a saint than to be a sinner it becomes a mere matter of habit.
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A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.
Jerome K. Jerome
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It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
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We must not think of the things we could do with, but only of the things that we can't do without.
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Swearing relieves the feelings - that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings.
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There is no more thrilling sensation I know of than sailing. It comes as near to flying as man has got to yet - except in dreams.
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It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.
Jerome K. Jerome