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Five thousand people in one society might do something, but five thousand societies of one member each would be a holy trouble.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Trouble
Five
Society
Might
Societies
Something
Member
Would
Members
People
Holy
Thousand

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We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
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It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
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There may be a better land where bicycle saddles are made of rainbow, stuffed with cloud in this world the simplest thing is to get used to something hard.
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Truth and fact are old-fashioned and out-of-date, my friends, fit only for the dull and vulgar to live by. Appearance, not reality, is what the clever dog grasps at in these clever days. We spurn the dull-brown solid earth we build our lives and homes in the fair-seeming rainbow-land of shadow and chimera.
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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
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The odour of Burgundy, and the smell of French sauces, and the sight of clean napkins and long loaves, knocked as a very welcome visitor at the door of our inner man.
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Eat good dinners and drink good wine read good novels if you have the leisure and see good plays fall in love, if there is no reason why you should not fall in love but do not pore over influenza statistics.
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Swearing relieves the feelings - that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house-out of place and in the way.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Seek out some retired and old-world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint-perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far-off and faint.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink for thirst is a dangerous thing.
Jerome K. Jerome
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I don't know why it should be, I am sure but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Cultivate a sense of humour. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good.
Jerome K. Jerome
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A new life begins for us with every second. Let us go forward joyously to meet it. We must press on, whether we will or not, and we shall walk better with our eyes before us than with them ever cast behind.
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Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago,“ has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Contented, unambitious people are all very well in their way. They form a neat, useful background for great portraits to be painted against, and they make a respectable, if not particularly intelligent, audience for the active spirits of the age to play before. I have not a word to say against contented people so long as they keep quiet.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Cassivelaunus had prepared the river for Caesar, by planting it full of stakes (and had, no doubt, put up a notice-board).
Jerome K. Jerome
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A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.
Jerome K. Jerome
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It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
Jerome K. Jerome