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We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Moral
Righteousness
Friends
Stomach
Care
Slave
Morality
Veriest
Reach
Vigilantly
Judgment
Slaves
Watches
Diet
Watch
Diets

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I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.
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I should never make anything of a fisherman. I had not got sufficient imagination
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If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest and if you can do with a little, ask for a great deal. Because if you don't you won't get any.
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Swearing relieves the feelings - that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings.
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Time is but the shadow of the world upon the background of Eternity.
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Being poor is a mere trifle. It is being known to be poor that is the sting.
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It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
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It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
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If there is one person I do despise more than another, it is the man who does not think exactly the same on all topics as I do.
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Love is like the measles we all have to go through it.
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Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house-out of place and in the way.
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When you forget to take the sail at all, then the wind is constantly in your favour both ways. But there! this world is only a probation, and man was born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.
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Nature, always inartistic, takes pleasure in creating the impossible.
Jerome K. Jerome
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I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
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I like work it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome
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It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink for thirst is a dangerous thing.
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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
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But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.
Jerome K. Jerome