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I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Glass
Fancy
Glasses
Mutton
Wine
Conjure
Upon
Chop
Champagne
Melancholy

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When a man or woman loves to brood over a sorrow and takes care to keep it green in their memory, you may be sure it is no longer a pain to them.
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A new life begins for us with every second. Let us go forward joyously to meet it. We must press on, whether we will or not, and we shall walk better with our eyes before us than with them ever cast behind.
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Evil thought is a dangerous pet. It is safer to play with it from behind the iron bars of circumstance.
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I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish.
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Eat good dinners and drink good wine read good novels if you have the leisure and see good plays fall in love, if there is no reason why you should not fall in love but do not pore over influenza statistics.
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It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a blunder, though, and is punished as such. A poor man is despised the whole world over.
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What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over
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There are many families where the whole interest of life is centered upon the dog.
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He is very imprudent, a dog he never makes it his business to inquire whether you are in the right or the wrong, never asks whether you are rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him.
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Five thousand people in one society might do something, but five thousand societies of one member each would be a holy trouble.
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What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow.
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I like work it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
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We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.
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Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.
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Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house-out of place and in the way.
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They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
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Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink for thirst is a dangerous thing.
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I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.
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Harris said, however, that the river would suit him to a T. I don't know what a T is (except a sixpenny one, which includes bread-and- butter and cake AD LIB., and is cheap at the price, if you haven't had any dinner). It seems to suit everybody, however, which is greatly to its credit.
Jerome K. Jerome