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I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Conjure
Upon
Chop
Champagne
Melancholy
Glass
Fancy
Glasses
Mutton
Wine

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Love is woman's business,and in business we all lay aside our natural weaknesses.
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Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago,“ has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.
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We must not think of the things we could do with, but only of the things that we can't do without.
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But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.
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I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.
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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
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When you forget to take the sail at all, then the wind is constantly in your favour both ways. But there! this world is only a probation, and man was born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.
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It is well we cannot see into the future. There are few boys of fourteen who would not feel ashamed of themselves at forty.
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Life is a thing to be lived, not spent to be faced, not ordered. Life is not a game of chess, the victory to the most knowing it is a game of cards, one's hand by skill to be made the best of.
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Love is too pure a light to burn long among the noisome gases that we breathe, but before it is choked out we may use it as a torch to ignite the cozy fire of affection.
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I like cats.... When I meet a cat, I say, Poor Pussy! and stoop down and tickle the side of its head and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers and all is gentleness and peace.
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Eat good dinners and drink good wine read good novels if you have the leisure and see good plays fall in love, if there is no reason why you should not fall in love but do not pore over influenza statistics.
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Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.
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I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.
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There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one.
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Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
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There may be a better land where bicycle saddles are made of rainbow, stuffed with cloud in this world the simplest thing is to get used to something hard.
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Think of the man who first tried German sausage.
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Seek out some retired and old-world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint-perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far-off and faint.
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