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I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Champagne
Melancholy
Glass
Fancy
Glasses
Wine
Mutton
Upon
Conjure
Chop

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It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.
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Think of the man who first tried German sausage.
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Seek out some retired and old-world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint-perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far-off and faint.
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It is no more effort for a man to be a saint than to be a sinner it becomes a mere matter of habit.
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Harris said, however, that the river would suit him to a T. I don't know what a T is (except a sixpenny one, which includes bread-and- butter and cake AD LIB., and is cheap at the price, if you haven't had any dinner). It seems to suit everybody, however, which is greatly to its credit.
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Love is like the measles we all have to go through it.
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Love is woman's business,and in business we all lay aside our natural weaknesses.
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Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago,“ has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.
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I should never make anything of a fisherman. I had not got sufficient imagination
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Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
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It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
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Truth and fact are old-fashioned and out-of-date, my friends, fit only for the dull and vulgar to live by. Appearance, not reality, is what the clever dog grasps at in these clever days. We spurn the dull-brown solid earth we build our lives and homes in the fair-seeming rainbow-land of shadow and chimera.
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Life is a thing to be lived, not spent to be faced, not ordered. Life is not a game of chess, the victory to the most knowing it is a game of cards, one's hand by skill to be made the best of.
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Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their way, but we, poor mortals, in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company.
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I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.
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Five thousand people in one society might do something, but five thousand societies of one member each would be a holy trouble.
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I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.
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It is well we cannot see into the future. There are few boys of fourteen who would not feel ashamed of themselves at forty.
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Swearing relieves the feelings - that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings.
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Cultivate a sense of humour. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good.
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