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I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Upon
Conjure
Chop
Champagne
Melancholy
Glass
Fancy
Glasses
Wine
Mutton

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The advantage of literature over life is that its characters are clearly defined, and act consistently.
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People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.
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He is very imprudent, a dog he never makes it his business to inquire whether you are in the right or the wrong, never asks whether you are rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him.
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They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
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Cultivate a sense of humour. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good.
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A new life begins for us with every second. Let us go forward joyously to meet it. We must press on, whether we will or not, and we shall walk better with our eyes before us than with them ever cast behind.
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Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
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Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their way, but we, poor mortals, in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company.
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I don't know why it should be, I am sure but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
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Love is like the measles we all have to go through it.
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It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
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I want a house that has got over all its troubles I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.
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I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.
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It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.
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What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over
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It is well we cannot see into the future. There are few boys of fourteen who would not feel ashamed of themselves at forty.
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I should never make anything of a fisherman. I had not got sufficient imagination
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