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I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Upon
Conjure
Chop
Champagne
Melancholy
Glass
Fancy
Glasses
Wine
Mutton

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I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.
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When you forget to take the sail at all, then the wind is constantly in your favour both ways. But there! this world is only a probation, and man was born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.
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Evil thought is a dangerous pet. It is safer to play with it from behind the iron bars of circumstance.
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Time is but the shadow of the world upon the background of Eternity.
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He is very imprudent, a dog he never makes it his business to inquire whether you are in the right or the wrong, never asks whether you are rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him.
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Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
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I like work it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
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Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their way, but we, poor mortals, in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company.
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Cultivate a sense of humour. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good.
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
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Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs.
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A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.
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I want a house that has got over all its troubles I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.
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I don't know why it should be, I am sure but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
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Eat good dinners and drink good wine read good novels if you have the leisure and see good plays fall in love, if there is no reason why you should not fall in love but do not pore over influenza statistics.
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It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.
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Being poor is a mere trifle. It is being known to be poor that is the sting.
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Love is too pure a light to burn long among the noisome gases that we breathe, but before it is choked out we may use it as a torch to ignite the cozy fire of affection.
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They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
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