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The world must be rather a rough place for clever people. Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Must
Dislike
World
Rough
People
Clever
Folks
Ordinary
Rather
Cordially
Hate
Folk
Place
Despise

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Swearing relieves the feelings - that is what swearing does. I explained this to my aunt on one occasion, but it didn't answer with her. She said I had no business to have such feelings.
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If you are foolish enough to be contented, don't show it, but grumble with the rest and if you can do with a little, ask for a great deal. Because if you don't you won't get any.
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Harris said, however, that the river would suit him to a T. I don't know what a T is (except a sixpenny one, which includes bread-and- butter and cake AD LIB., and is cheap at the price, if you haven't had any dinner). It seems to suit everybody, however, which is greatly to its credit.
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What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over
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We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.
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Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their way, but we, poor mortals, in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company.
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What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow.
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Cultivate a sense of humour. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good.
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Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.
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When a man or woman loves to brood over a sorrow and takes care to keep it green in their memory, you may be sure it is no longer a pain to them.
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A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.
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Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.
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A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.
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A new life begins for us with every second. Let us go forward joyously to meet it. We must press on, whether we will or not, and we shall walk better with our eyes before us than with them ever cast behind.
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I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.
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Think of the man who first tried German sausage.
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
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I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish.
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But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.
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Truth and fact are old-fashioned and out-of-date, my friends, fit only for the dull and vulgar to live by. Appearance, not reality, is what the clever dog grasps at in these clever days. We spurn the dull-brown solid earth we build our lives and homes in the fair-seeming rainbow-land of shadow and chimera.
Jerome K. Jerome