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I want a house that has got over all its troubles I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
House
Young
Home
Inexperienced
Life
Troubles
Bringing
Spend
Rest
Trouble

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I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.
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When you forget to take the sail at all, then the wind is constantly in your favour both ways. But there! this world is only a probation, and man was born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.
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The world must be rather a rough place for clever people. Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.
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I like work it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
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It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is not that I object to the work, mind you I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome
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There may be a better land where bicycle saddles are made of rainbow, stuffed with cloud in this world the simplest thing is to get used to something hard.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Think of the man who first tried German sausage.
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I like cats.... When I meet a cat, I say, Poor Pussy! and stoop down and tickle the side of its head and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers and all is gentleness and peace.
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Nature, always inartistic, takes pleasure in creating the impossible.
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What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow.
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
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We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.
Jerome K. Jerome
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I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish.
Jerome K. Jerome
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There are many families where the whole interest of life is centered upon the dog.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Contented, unambitious people are all very well in their way. They form a neat, useful background for great portraits to be painted against, and they make a respectable, if not particularly intelligent, audience for the active spirits of the age to play before. I have not a word to say against contented people so long as they keep quiet.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Cassivelaunus had prepared the river for Caesar, by planting it full of stakes (and had, no doubt, put up a notice-board).
Jerome K. Jerome
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Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.
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I don't know why it should be, I am sure but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
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It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.
Jerome K. Jerome