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I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Rooms
Reading
Crawled
Happy
Decrepit
Men
Wreck
Wrecks
Walked
Healthy
Room

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A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.
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We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
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We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.
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It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
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Time is but the shadow of the world upon the background of Eternity.
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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
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It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a blunder, though, and is punished as such. A poor man is despised the whole world over.
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I want a house that has got over all its troubles I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.
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It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.
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I like cats.... When I meet a cat, I say, Poor Pussy! and stoop down and tickle the side of its head and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers and all is gentleness and peace.
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Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.
Jerome K. Jerome
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But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand.
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A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.
Jerome K. Jerome
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When you forget to take the sail at all, then the wind is constantly in your favour both ways. But there! this world is only a probation, and man was born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.
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I don't know why it should be, I am sure but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Truth and fact are old-fashioned and out-of-date, my friends, fit only for the dull and vulgar to live by. Appearance, not reality, is what the clever dog grasps at in these clever days. We spurn the dull-brown solid earth we build our lives and homes in the fair-seeming rainbow-land of shadow and chimera.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Five thousand people in one society might do something, but five thousand societies of one member each would be a holy trouble.
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I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.
Jerome K. Jerome
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In the church is a memorial to Mrs. Sarah Hill, who bequeathed 1 pound annually, to be divided at Easter, between two boys and two girls who have never been undutiful to their parents who have never been known to swear or to tell untruths, to steal, or to break windows. Fancy giving up all that for five shillings a year! It is not worth it!
Jerome K. Jerome