Quote

I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Twenties
Housemaid
Six
Housemaids
Letters
Conscientiously
Malady
Conclude
Knee
Knees
Twenty

More quotes by Jerome K. Jerome

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Cheese, like oil, makes too much of itself.
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It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.
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I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.
Jerome K. Jerome
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There may be a better land where bicycle saddles are made of rainbow, stuffed with cloud in this world the simplest thing is to get used to something hard.
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I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.
Jerome K. Jerome
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What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow.
Jerome K. Jerome
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All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.
Jerome K. Jerome
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In the church is a memorial to Mrs. Sarah Hill, who bequeathed 1 pound annually, to be divided at Easter, between two boys and two girls who have never been undutiful to their parents who have never been known to swear or to tell untruths, to steal, or to break windows. Fancy giving up all that for five shillings a year! It is not worth it!
Jerome K. Jerome
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When you forget to take the sail at all, then the wind is constantly in your favour both ways. But there! this world is only a probation, and man was born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.
Jerome K. Jerome
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It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch one another and find sympathy. We differ widely enough in our nobler qualities. It is in our follies that we are at one.
Jerome K. Jerome
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A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Life is a thing to be lived, not spent to be faced, not ordered. Life is not a game of chess, the victory to the most knowing it is a game of cards, one's hand by skill to be made the best of.
Jerome K. Jerome
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A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Five thousand people in one society might do something, but five thousand societies of one member each would be a holy trouble.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Truth and fact are old-fashioned and out-of-date, my friends, fit only for the dull and vulgar to live by. Appearance, not reality, is what the clever dog grasps at in these clever days. We spurn the dull-brown solid earth we build our lives and homes in the fair-seeming rainbow-land of shadow and chimera.
Jerome K. Jerome
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The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him. He is able, to a certain extent, to communicate his misery. He frightens other people as much as they frighten him. He acts like a damper upon the whole room, and the most jovial spirits become, in his presence, depressed and nervous.
Jerome K. Jerome
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I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.
Jerome K. Jerome
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The world must be rather a rough place for clever people. Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.
Jerome K. Jerome
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I don't know why it should be, I am sure but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.
Jerome K. Jerome