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I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

Jerome K. Jerome

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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Conclude
Knee
Knees
Twenty
Twenties
Housemaid
Six
Housemaids
Letters
Conscientiously
Malady

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Nature, always inartistic, takes pleasure in creating the impossible.
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We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.
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People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.
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I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.
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He is very imprudent, a dog he never makes it his business to inquire whether you are in the right or the wrong, never asks whether you are rich or poor, silly or wise, sinner or saint. You are his pal. That is enough for him.
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The advantage of literature over life is that its characters are clearly defined, and act consistently.
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The odour of Burgundy, and the smell of French sauces, and the sight of clean napkins and long loaves, knocked as a very welcome visitor at the door of our inner man.
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It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.
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We must not think of the things we could do with, but only of the things that we can't do without.
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The world must be rather a rough place for clever people. Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.
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It is so pleasant to come across people more stupid than ourselves. We love them at once for being so.
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Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago,“ has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.
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Evil thought is a dangerous pet. It is safer to play with it from behind the iron bars of circumstance.
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I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Harris said, however, that the river would suit him to a T. I don't know what a T is (except a sixpenny one, which includes bread-and- butter and cake AD LIB., and is cheap at the price, if you haven't had any dinner). It seems to suit everybody, however, which is greatly to its credit.
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Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.
Jerome K. Jerome
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It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house-out of place and in the way.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Love is like the measles we all have to go through it.
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Seek out some retired and old-world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint-perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far-off and faint.
Jerome K. Jerome