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It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.
Jerome K. Jerome
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Jerome K. Jerome
Age: 67 †
Born: 1859
Born: August 25
Died: 1927
Died: June 16
Actor
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Writer
Walsall
West Midlands
Jerome Klapka Jerome
Jerome Klapta Jerome
Without
Conclusion
Virulent
Thing
Medicine
Impelled
Never
Extraordinary
Advertisement
Disease
Patent
Particular
Patents
Suffering
Therein
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Form
Dealt
More quotes by Jerome K. Jerome
What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow.
Jerome K. Jerome
Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.
Jerome K. Jerome
We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.
Jerome K. Jerome
It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is not that I object to the work, mind you I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome
Five thousand people in one society might do something, but five thousand societies of one member each would be a holy trouble.
Jerome K. Jerome
Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs.
Jerome K. Jerome
A glass of wine often makes me a better man than hearing a sermon.
Jerome K. Jerome
Nature, always inartistic, takes pleasure in creating the impossible.
Jerome K. Jerome
Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone.
Jerome K. Jerome
I could not conjure up one melancholy fancy upon a mutton chop and a glass of champagne.
Jerome K. Jerome
There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one.
Jerome K. Jerome
It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a blunder, though, and is punished as such. A poor man is despised the whole world over.
Jerome K. Jerome
I like cats.... When I meet a cat, I say, Poor Pussy! and stoop down and tickle the side of its head and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers and all is gentleness and peace.
Jerome K. Jerome
Seek out some retired and old-world spot, far from the madding crowd, and dream away a sunny week among its drowsy lanes - some half-forgotten nook, hidden away by the fairies, out of reach of the noisy world - some quaint-perched eyrie on the cliffs of Time, from whence the surging waves of the nineteenth century would sound far-off and faint.
Jerome K. Jerome
Love is too pure a light to burn long among the noisome gases that we breathe, but before it is choked out we may use it as a torch to ignite the cozy fire of affection.
Jerome K. Jerome
I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.
Jerome K. Jerome
Being poor is a mere trifle. It is being known to be poor that is the sting.
Jerome K. Jerome
It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.
Jerome K. Jerome
Love is like the measles we all have to go through it.
Jerome K. Jerome
People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.
Jerome K. Jerome