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You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Boat
Killed
Remember
Distinctly
Blew

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Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition.
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We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
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God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
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I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.
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We live in the worst country in the world. At least we do for lazy, inefficient, office-bound police, whose response to an extraordinary rise in violent crime is to order more speed cameras.
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This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.
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The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian.
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Selling through the internet seems to be a very good idea. There are a million areas that we can go to.
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I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.
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Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
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If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
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Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
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I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.
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