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You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Blew
Boat
Killed
Remember
Distinctly

More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson

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The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian.
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God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.
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The newest Ferrari of them all, the 458, the Italia. The GT3 was good, but nowhen near as good as this... almost nothing on Earth is as good as this... Set that something I've just told, involving Cameron Diaz... and some honey... then it comes that even that isn't as good as this.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
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[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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When I was 16, I wanted to look like Lord Byron. It's not really a haircut so much as a hair-not-cut, but I've never changed it. It's a bit Byron, a bit Don Juan DeMarco and other things that I aspire to be.
Jeremy Clarkson
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If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
Jeremy Clarkson
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You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.
Jeremy Clarkson
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We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
Jeremy Clarkson
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When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!
Jeremy Clarkson
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I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
Jeremy Clarkson
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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Jeremy Clarkson
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...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
Jeremy Clarkson