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This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Trots
India
Gets
Perfect
Everyone
Comes

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...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.
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We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
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Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
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When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
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Speed focuses the mind. It cuts through the fog of drab everyday living and keeps us on our toes. Speed works. Speed saves lives. Speed is good. And we should have more of it, not less.
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Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
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I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.
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The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian.
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I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
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There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.
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I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
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We live in the worst country in the world. At least we do for lazy, inefficient, office-bound police, whose response to an extraordinary rise in violent crime is to order more speed cameras.
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The newest Ferrari of them all, the 458, the Italia. The GT3 was good, but nowhen near as good as this... almost nothing on Earth is as good as this... Set that something I've just told, involving Cameron Diaz... and some honey... then it comes that even that isn't as good as this.
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.
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I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
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You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!
Jeremy Clarkson
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Italy's youngsters complain, apparently, about having to live at home until they are 72 but that's because they spend all their money on suits and coffee and Alfa Romeos rather than mortgages.
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