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I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Pint
Pints
Blow
Cold
Nice
Waiting
More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson
Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?
Jeremy Clarkson
I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
Jeremy Clarkson
I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
Jeremy Clarkson
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Jeremy Clarkson
You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.
Jeremy Clarkson
Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition.
Jeremy Clarkson
Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?
Jeremy Clarkson
I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well.
Jeremy Clarkson
Selling through the internet seems to be a very good idea. There are a million areas that we can go to.
Jeremy Clarkson
Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson
Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
Jeremy Clarkson
The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian.
Jeremy Clarkson
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
Jeremy Clarkson
I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
Jeremy Clarkson
You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
Jeremy Clarkson
The public seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that death is something that only happens to people who eat meat and smoke.
Jeremy Clarkson
Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
Jeremy Clarkson
I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?
Jeremy Clarkson
If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
Jeremy Clarkson
That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.
Jeremy Clarkson