Quote

I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Would
Peter
Think
Ties
Thinking
Bits
Least
Barbaric
Idea
Inhuman
Everyone
Vans
Ideas
Cheer
Good
Cruel

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They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
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Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.
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This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
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We live in the worst country in the world. At least we do for lazy, inefficient, office-bound police, whose response to an extraordinary rise in violent crime is to order more speed cameras.
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Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?
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You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless.
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
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Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?
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There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
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You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!
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You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.
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.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
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I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well.
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This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.
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She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed.
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Speed focuses the mind. It cuts through the fog of drab everyday living and keeps us on our toes. Speed works. Speed saves lives. Speed is good. And we should have more of it, not less.
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When I was 16, I wanted to look like Lord Byron. It's not really a haircut so much as a hair-not-cut, but I've never changed it. It's a bit Byron, a bit Don Juan DeMarco and other things that I aspire to be.
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There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.
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Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
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