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I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Good
Cruel
Would
Peter
Think
Ties
Thinking
Bits
Least
Barbaric
Idea
Inhuman
Everyone
Vans
Ideas
Cheer

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I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.
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Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
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This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.
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This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
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Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.
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They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
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Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.
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Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.
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Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?
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Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.
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I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
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Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
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Speed focuses the mind. It cuts through the fog of drab everyday living and keeps us on our toes. Speed works. Speed saves lives. Speed is good. And we should have more of it, not less.
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She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed.
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There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
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Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
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We live in the worst country in the world. At least we do for lazy, inefficient, office-bound police, whose response to an extraordinary rise in violent crime is to order more speed cameras.
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Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?
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I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.
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