Quote

I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Would
Peter
Think
Ties
Thinking
Bits
Least
Barbaric
Idea
Inhuman
Everyone
Vans
Ideas
Cheer
Good
Cruel

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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.
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Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.
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We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
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[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.
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Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
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Italy's youngsters complain, apparently, about having to live at home until they are 72 but that's because they spend all their money on suits and coffee and Alfa Romeos rather than mortgages.
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Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?
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I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.
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I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
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We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste.
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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
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Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.
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Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?
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Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
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I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'
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Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.
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Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
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I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
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