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Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Actually
Yawning
Doe
Chasm
Nothing
Chasms
Time
Healthcare
Passes
Prepare
Canada
System

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You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
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I'd just find a story in Canada and come and do it. Combine harvester banger - actually I've done that: banger racing up in Red Deer [in Alberta, for his 1998 doc series Extreme Machines].
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God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
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I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t
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There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
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Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Selling through the internet seems to be a very good idea. There are a million areas that we can go to.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.
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That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.
Jeremy Clarkson
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The public seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that death is something that only happens to people who eat meat and smoke.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
Jeremy Clarkson
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Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.
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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
Jeremy Clarkson
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...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition.
Jeremy Clarkson