Quote

Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Nothing
Chasms
Time
Healthcare
Passes
Prepare
Canada
System
Actually
Yawning
Doe
Chasm

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There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.
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If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?
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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.
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They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
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We live in the worst country in the world. At least we do for lazy, inefficient, office-bound police, whose response to an extraordinary rise in violent crime is to order more speed cameras.
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...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.
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It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
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I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
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God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
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Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.
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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
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I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t
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Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
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This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
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You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.
Jeremy Clarkson