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I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Particularly
Fact
Funny
Facts
Think
Thinking

More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson

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You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
Jeremy Clarkson
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Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.
Jeremy Clarkson
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We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste.
Jeremy Clarkson
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.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
Jeremy Clarkson
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I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?
Jeremy Clarkson
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The newest Ferrari of them all, the 458, the Italia. The GT3 was good, but nowhen near as good as this... almost nothing on Earth is as good as this... Set that something I've just told, involving Cameron Diaz... and some honey... then it comes that even that isn't as good as this.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.
Jeremy Clarkson
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You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!
Jeremy Clarkson
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In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Jeremy Clarkson
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They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
Jeremy Clarkson
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Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?
Jeremy Clarkson
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When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well.
Jeremy Clarkson
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This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
Jeremy Clarkson
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God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
Jeremy Clarkson