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I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
Jeremy Clarkson
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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Dish
Dishes
Dirt
Mother
Take
Children
More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson
When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
Jeremy Clarkson
You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.
Jeremy Clarkson
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
Jeremy Clarkson
I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'
Jeremy Clarkson
There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.
Jeremy Clarkson
.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
Jeremy Clarkson
Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?
Jeremy Clarkson
A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
Jeremy Clarkson
They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
Jeremy Clarkson
You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
Jeremy Clarkson
I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.
Jeremy Clarkson
It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
Jeremy Clarkson
She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed.
Jeremy Clarkson
Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
Jeremy Clarkson
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Jeremy Clarkson
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson
We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste.
Jeremy Clarkson
I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.
Jeremy Clarkson
You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!
Jeremy Clarkson
If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
Jeremy Clarkson