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If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
Jeremy Clarkson
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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Take
Scottish
Good
Offensive
Wall
Teary
Stupid
Riddance
Stand
Bagpipes
Shall
Handkerchief
Break
Hadrian
Away
Handkerchiefs
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I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
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I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'
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I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!
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...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.
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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
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Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?
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Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.
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When I was 16, I wanted to look like Lord Byron. It's not really a haircut so much as a hair-not-cut, but I've never changed it. It's a bit Byron, a bit Don Juan DeMarco and other things that I aspire to be.
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I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
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It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
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