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You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Like
Cities
Morals
World
Modern
Realising
Animal
Centre
Moral
Boat
Girl
Surprise
Boats
America
Girls
Zoos
Would
Meet
Pubs
Men
City
Thighs

More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson

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I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
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They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
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We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste.
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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
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.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
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Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?
Jeremy Clarkson
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If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
Jeremy Clarkson
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The public seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that death is something that only happens to people who eat meat and smoke.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.
Jeremy Clarkson
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You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless.
Jeremy Clarkson
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There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
Jeremy Clarkson
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Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
Jeremy Clarkson
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This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Like every big organisation these days, the BBC is obsessed with the wellbeing of those who set foot on its premises. Studios must display warning notices if there is real glass on the set, and the other day I was presented with a booklet explaining how to use a door. I am not kidding.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well.
Jeremy Clarkson
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It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
Jeremy Clarkson
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
Jeremy Clarkson