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You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Girl
Surprise
Boats
America
Girls
Zoos
Would
Meet
Pubs
Men
City
Thighs
Like
Cities
Morals
World
Modern
Realising
Animal
Centre
Moral
Boat

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Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
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You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless.
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Italy's youngsters complain, apparently, about having to live at home until they are 72 but that's because they spend all their money on suits and coffee and Alfa Romeos rather than mortgages.
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Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.
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We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
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Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?
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I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.
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God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
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I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool.
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You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
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Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong.
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When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
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I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.
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Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
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Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.
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There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
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I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
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