Quote

You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Would
Meet
Pubs
Men
City
Thighs
Like
Cities
Morals
World
Modern
Realising
Animal
Centre
Moral
Boat
Girl
Surprise
Boats
America
Girls
Zoos

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You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!
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I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
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I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!
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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.
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It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
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Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.
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I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'
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I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
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This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.
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.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
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There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
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You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
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[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.
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If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
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I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.
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I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t
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Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it?
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Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?
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