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You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Animal
Centre
Moral
Boat
Girl
Surprise
Boats
America
Girls
Zoos
Would
Meet
Pubs
Men
City
Thighs
Like
Cities
Morals
World
Modern
Realising

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There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
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.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
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She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed.
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I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
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If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
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Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?
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Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.
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They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
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I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool.
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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
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Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.
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I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.
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Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
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I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!
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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?
Jeremy Clarkson
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The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian.
Jeremy Clarkson
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I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.
Jeremy Clarkson