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I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
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More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson
The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian.
Jeremy Clarkson
There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.
Jeremy Clarkson
The newest Ferrari of them all, the 458, the Italia. The GT3 was good, but nowhen near as good as this... almost nothing on Earth is as good as this... Set that something I've just told, involving Cameron Diaz... and some honey... then it comes that even that isn't as good as this.
Jeremy Clarkson
I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
Jeremy Clarkson
I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.
Jeremy Clarkson
I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
Jeremy Clarkson
We live in the worst country in the world. At least we do for lazy, inefficient, office-bound police, whose response to an extraordinary rise in violent crime is to order more speed cameras.
Jeremy Clarkson
Italy's youngsters complain, apparently, about having to live at home until they are 72 but that's because they spend all their money on suits and coffee and Alfa Romeos rather than mortgages.
Jeremy Clarkson
Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?
Jeremy Clarkson
The public seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that death is something that only happens to people who eat meat and smoke.
Jeremy Clarkson
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson
I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
Jeremy Clarkson
Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
Jeremy Clarkson
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
Jeremy Clarkson
I'd just find a story in Canada and come and do it. Combine harvester banger - actually I've done that: banger racing up in Red Deer [in Alberta, for his 1998 doc series Extreme Machines].
Jeremy Clarkson
She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed.
Jeremy Clarkson
I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.
Jeremy Clarkson
A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
Jeremy Clarkson
I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
Jeremy Clarkson
Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
Jeremy Clarkson