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I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Duty
Animal
Often
Believe
Time
Supper
Plate
Plates
Agree
More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson
Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
Jeremy Clarkson
When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
Jeremy Clarkson
I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
Jeremy Clarkson
You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
Jeremy Clarkson
I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
Jeremy Clarkson
They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
Jeremy Clarkson
I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.
Jeremy Clarkson
This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
Jeremy Clarkson
A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
Jeremy Clarkson
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
Jeremy Clarkson
Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
Jeremy Clarkson
Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.
Jeremy Clarkson
Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.
Jeremy Clarkson
If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.'
Jeremy Clarkson
Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition.
Jeremy Clarkson
Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
Jeremy Clarkson
God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
Jeremy Clarkson
.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
Jeremy Clarkson
Like every big organisation these days, the BBC is obsessed with the wellbeing of those who set foot on its premises. Studios must display warning notices if there is real glass on the set, and the other day I was presented with a booklet explaining how to use a door. I am not kidding.
Jeremy Clarkson
Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.
Jeremy Clarkson