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I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?
Jeremy Clarkson
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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Poor
Understand
People
Quicker
Lanes
Bus
Places
More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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When I was 16, I wanted to look like Lord Byron. It's not really a haircut so much as a hair-not-cut, but I've never changed it. It's a bit Byron, a bit Don Juan DeMarco and other things that I aspire to be.
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Americans are good at herding Bison. The end.
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Like every big organisation these days, the BBC is obsessed with the wellbeing of those who set foot on its premises. Studios must display warning notices if there is real glass on the set, and the other day I was presented with a booklet explaining how to use a door. I am not kidding.
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I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.
Jeremy Clarkson
I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
Jeremy Clarkson
I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'
Jeremy Clarkson
We live in the worst country in the world. At least we do for lazy, inefficient, office-bound police, whose response to an extraordinary rise in violent crime is to order more speed cameras.
Jeremy Clarkson
When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
Jeremy Clarkson
Italy's youngsters complain, apparently, about having to live at home until they are 72 but that's because they spend all their money on suits and coffee and Alfa Romeos rather than mortgages.
Jeremy Clarkson
A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
Jeremy Clarkson
...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.
Jeremy Clarkson
[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.
Jeremy Clarkson
You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless.
Jeremy Clarkson
This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots.
Jeremy Clarkson
I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t
Jeremy Clarkson
God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
Jeremy Clarkson
Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
Jeremy Clarkson
Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.
Jeremy Clarkson
Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
Jeremy Clarkson