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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Wells
Therefore
Well
Lasts
Work
Last
Religion
Force
Weirdly
Understand
Census
Use
Knight
Doesn
Knights

More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson

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You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
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I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!
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When I was 16, I wanted to look like Lord Byron. It's not really a haircut so much as a hair-not-cut, but I've never changed it. It's a bit Byron, a bit Don Juan DeMarco and other things that I aspire to be.
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When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
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Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless.
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Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians?
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You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed!
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A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
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Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
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They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
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Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
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Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.
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Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
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Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.
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The public seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that death is something that only happens to people who eat meat and smoke.
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It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
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