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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
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Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
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More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson
Like every big organisation these days, the BBC is obsessed with the wellbeing of those who set foot on its premises. Studios must display warning notices if there is real glass on the set, and the other day I was presented with a booklet explaining how to use a door. I am not kidding.
Jeremy Clarkson
They are by far the worst drivers. They are spiteful, dithering, old and in the way. They should have their licences taken away.
Jeremy Clarkson
Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.
Jeremy Clarkson
You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.
Jeremy Clarkson
This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
Jeremy Clarkson
Selling through the internet seems to be a very good idea. There are a million areas that we can go to.
Jeremy Clarkson
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
Jeremy Clarkson
Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.
Jeremy Clarkson
I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?
Jeremy Clarkson
I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.
Jeremy Clarkson
I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
Jeremy Clarkson
You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless.
Jeremy Clarkson
I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it.
Jeremy Clarkson
Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
Jeremy Clarkson
We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste.
Jeremy Clarkson
Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
Jeremy Clarkson
It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
Jeremy Clarkson
The newest Ferrari of them all, the 458, the Italia. The GT3 was good, but nowhen near as good as this... almost nothing on Earth is as good as this... Set that something I've just told, involving Cameron Diaz... and some honey... then it comes that even that isn't as good as this.
Jeremy Clarkson
I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
Jeremy Clarkson
Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.
Jeremy Clarkson
