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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.
Jeremy Clarkson
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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Religion
Force
Weirdly
Understand
Census
Use
Knight
Doesn
Knights
Wells
Therefore
Well
Lasts
Work
Last
More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson
You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.
Jeremy Clarkson
I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.
Jeremy Clarkson
Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius.
Jeremy Clarkson
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson
God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
Jeremy Clarkson
A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
Jeremy Clarkson
The public seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that death is something that only happens to people who eat meat and smoke.
Jeremy Clarkson
The newest Ferrari of them all, the 458, the Italia. The GT3 was good, but nowhen near as good as this... almost nothing on Earth is as good as this... Set that something I've just told, involving Cameron Diaz... and some honey... then it comes that even that isn't as good as this.
Jeremy Clarkson
Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth
Jeremy Clarkson
Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
Jeremy Clarkson
Like every big organisation these days, the BBC is obsessed with the wellbeing of those who set foot on its premises. Studios must display warning notices if there is real glass on the set, and the other day I was presented with a booklet explaining how to use a door. I am not kidding.
Jeremy Clarkson
Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.
Jeremy Clarkson
I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time.
Jeremy Clarkson
It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it.
Jeremy Clarkson
Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare.
Jeremy Clarkson
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Jeremy Clarkson
Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition.
Jeremy Clarkson
I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
Jeremy Clarkson
Italy's youngsters complain, apparently, about having to live at home until they are 72 but that's because they spend all their money on suits and coffee and Alfa Romeos rather than mortgages.
Jeremy Clarkson
I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.
Jeremy Clarkson