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[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.

Jeremy Clarkson

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Jeremy Clarkson
Age: 64
Born: 1960
Born: April 11
Broadcaster
Film Producer
Journalist
Television Presenter
Writer
Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson
Mean
Think
Clinically
Thinking
Onion
Onions
Insane
Wake
Car
Morning

More quotes by Jeremy Clarkson

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Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I'm coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.
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I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.
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There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on.
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God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.
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I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!
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I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.
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I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
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You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal.
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There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
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Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.
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.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette
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If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.
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We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
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That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.
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I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
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You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless.
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I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over.
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...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored.
Jeremy Clarkson
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When you've finished using a car, put the f***ing seat back, so humans can use it afterwards.
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I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.
Jeremy Clarkson