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I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in that I am both Great and Terrible and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains

Jenny Lawson

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Jenny Lawson
Age: 50
Born: 1973
Born: December 29
Author
Journalist
Jennifer Lawson
Behind
Terrible
Housewives
Sometimes
Wizard
Great
Housewife
Wizards
Curtains
Hide
Behinds

More quotes by Jenny Lawson

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I very much own the fact that I'm a misfit. The Internet makes everyone realize they're screwed up.
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One of the most important things I learned is forging a rapport with someone at your insurance company. Know their names. You'll eventually get someone who will tell you, This is how you do an appeal. This is what you need to say in your letter. You can also always go to the ER to get whatever you need to tide you over for a few days.
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It’s amazing how much you’re missing in a depressive state until you start to come out on the other side. It’s like breathing again after being underwater for far too long.
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Grandpa did everything at his own pace, a speed that my sister and I referred to as 'when snails attack.' ... My grandparents' house was only about ten miles from ours, but the ride there would necessitate sandwiches packed for the trip, and several books to keep us occupied.
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A hug is like a strangle you haven't finished yet.
Jenny Lawson
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I can finally see that all the terrible parts of my life, the embarrassing parts, the incidents I wanted to pretend never happened, and the things that make me weird and different, were actually the most important parts of my life. They were the parts that made me ME.
Jenny Lawson
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A house should look lived in, and I consider it clean as long as I don't stick to it and it doesn't give me cholera.
Jenny Lawson
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High School Is Life’s Way of Giving You a Record Low to Judge the Rest of Your Life By)
Jenny Lawson
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I'm pretty sure 'ferral cats' is code for 'vampire cougars.
Jenny Lawson
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When you're really crazy you don't question it. Being aware of my behaviors stops them. Sure, a lot of people pick their cuticles, but how many people cut big parts of their skin off? It's unfair because I have been judged.
Jenny Lawson
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I was having problems with depression and anxiety disorder, and it felt like not blogging about it was creating a false history. When I did finally share the problems I was having, I was shocked - not only by the support that was given to me, but also by the incredible amount of people who admitted they struggled with the same thing.
Jenny Lawson
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But really, what else are you going to talk about in line at the liquor store? Childhood trauma seems like the natural choice, since it’s the reason why most of us are in line there to begin with.
Jenny Lawson
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When Hailey was born my first thought was that I needed a drink and that hospitals should have bars in them.
Jenny Lawson
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Every time I get scared or feel like I'm not going to be good enough at something, I say that mantra to myself. Pretend you're good at it.
Jenny Lawson
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In short? It is exhausting being me. Pretending to be normal is draining and requires amazing amounts of energy and Xanax.
Jenny Lawson
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In fact almost everyone in my yearbook wrote the same thing to me: To weird girl, you're nice. I didn't think it was bad. When I showed my mother she said, Everyone is different. Being weird became my tool. I'm weird that's who I am. It was my coping badge.
Jenny Lawson
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...and whenever I had menstral cramps, I could just pretend that Voldemort was close.
Jenny Lawson
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One moment I'm perfectly fine and the next I feel a wave of nausea, then panic. Then I can't catch my breath and I know I'm about to lose control and all I want to do is escape. Except that the one thing I can't escape from is the very thing I want to run away from... me.
Jenny Lawson
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Then I yelled through his door, It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS.
Jenny Lawson
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Writing is my therapy. In addition to my real therapy. God knows where I'd be without it. I'd probably still be at my last job, working in HR at a religious organization. I was horribly miscast.
Jenny Lawson