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Every breath, every heartbeat, was one less until maybe things stopped hurting this much.
Jenny Downham
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Jenny Downham
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: January 1
Actor
Author
Film Actor
Novelist
Writer
Inner and Outer London
Maybe
Less
Much
Heartbeat
Every
Hurting
Things
Stopped
Breath
Breaths
Hurt
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It's a shame i can't be there myself - i like parties. Text me if you think of any good hymns!
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It hurts and hurts to have him this close. I feel sick with it.
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Life is made up of a series of moments, each one a journey to the end.
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Parents don't know their children at all. No one knows anyone, in fact.
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Are you afraid, Tessa?
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I said I wouldn't leave her.
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She'd never in her whole life bunked school, smoked dope, or kissed a boy whose name she didn't know, and yet in the last few days, she'd done all these things.
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a little bird moves a mountain of sand one grain at a time it picks up one grain every million years and when the mountain has been moved the bird puts it all back again and that's how long eternity is and that's a very long time to be dead
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If I learnt anything at all about terminal illness in my research, it's that the experience is different for everyone. I do believe that life becomes concentrated when it's boundaried and that death is the biggest boundary of all.
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Adam strokes my head, my face, he kisses my tears. We are blessed. Let them all go. The sound of a bird flying low across the garden. Then nothing. Nothing. A cloud passes. Nothing again. Light falls through the window, falls onto me, into me. Moments. All gathering towards this one.
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Nurses never tell you what they know. They're hired for their cheeriness and the thickness of their hair. They need to look alive and healthy, to give the patients something to aim for.
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Keep breathing. Just keep doing it. It's easy. In and out.
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I love you. I love you. I send this message through my fingers and into his, up his arm and into his heart. Hear me. I love you. And I'm sorry to leave you.
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Death straps me to the hospital bed, claws its way onto my chest and sits there.I didn't know it would hurt this much. I didn't know that everything good that's ever happened in my life would be emptied out by it.
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No, really. I free you.' I don't want to be free.
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Don't think you have to be good because you're the only one left. Be as bad as you like.
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Is this how it is for everyone?' she whispered. 'No.' 'How do you know?' 'I just do. I've never felt this with anyone before.' 'Serious?' 'Serious. That isn't a line.' 'Kiss me,' she said. He did. Everywhere.
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I didn't understand that when you make love, you actually do MAKE love. Stir things. Affect each other. The breath that escapes from me is dazzled. He breathes it in with a gasp.
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She'll understand what I already know - that death surrounds us all. And it tastes like metal between your teeth.
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It's as if a child with a brush and too much enthusiasm has been set free with a tin of black paint inside me.
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