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Death straps me to the hospital bed, claws its way onto my chest and sits there.I didn't know it would hurt this much. I didn't know that everything good that's ever happened in my life would be emptied out by it.

Jenny Downham

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Jenny Downham
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: January 1
Actor
Author
Film Actor
Novelist
Writer
Inner and Outer London
Everything
Onto
Straps
Much
Cancer
Emptied
Way
Bed
Claws
Good
Hurt
Sits
Would
Happened
Hospital
Life
Death
Chest
Didn
Chests
Ever
Hospitals

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She needed food. Diets didn't count in a crisis.
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Perhaps I'm dead. Perhaps this is all it will be. The living will carry on in their world – touching, walking. And I'll continue in this empty world, tapping soundlessly on the glass between us.
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Every few years we disappear, Zoey. All our cells are replaced by others. Not a single bit of me is the same as when I was last in this room.
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Statement: A girl and a boy jump into a river. The boy swims over to the girl and says, God, it's cold. Question: What's the probability they will kiss?
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If you want a girl to like you, you have to listen like a woman and love like a man.
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Maybe I’ll come back as somebody else. I’ll be the wild-haired girl Adam meets in his first week at university. ‘Hi, are you on the horticultural course as well?
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I lean back on the pillows and look at the corners of the room. When I was a kid, I always wanted to live on the ceiling - it looked so clean and uncluttered, like the top of a cake.
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And now he's down this for me. He's made me famous. He's put my name on the world.
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Was this love? Because it hurt. It was like a bit of glass stuck somewhere important--his heart or his head, and it was throbbing.
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Instructions for Adam Look after no one except yourself. Go to university and make lots of friends and get drunk. Forget your door keyes. Laugh. Eat pot-noodles for breakfast. Miss lectures. Be irresponsible.
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We make patterns, we share moments.
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I shrug him off. 'Can't you just go away? There's a moment. It has a sound in it, as if something very small got broken.
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If I learnt anything at all about terminal illness in my research, it's that the experience is different for everyone. I do believe that life becomes concentrated when it's boundaried and that death is the biggest boundary of all.
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Moments. All gathering towards this one.
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a little bird moves a mountain of sand one grain at a time it picks up one grain every million years and when the mountain has been moved the bird puts it all back again and that's how long eternity is and that's a very long time to be dead
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I'm here. Soon I won't be. Zoey's baby is here. Its pulse tick-ticking. Soon it won't be. And when Zoey comes out of that room, having signed on the dotted line, she'll be different. She'll understand what I already know- that death surrounds us all. And it tastes like metal between you teeth.
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That slow smile again. I love that smile! DId I think he was ugly just now? No, his face is transformed.
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I love you. I love you. I send this message through my fingers and into his, up his arm and into his heart. Hear me. I love you. And I'm sorry to leave you.
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Life is made up of a series of moments, each one a journey to the end.
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Don't think you have to be good because you're the only one left. Be as bad as you like.
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